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my boss treated me like her therapist … and it blew up
- In a workplace letter to Alison Green on Ask a Manager, a reader describes how they fell into a caretaking and work-as-therapist role for their boss, who had undergone a messy divorce and custody battle, had declining mental health, and eventually shared that they had suicidal ideation. Despite efforts to keep the store running and maintain the friendship as well as the boss’s mental and emotional well-being, the reader reached a breaking point when the boss texted them to come to their home during a suicide threat even though they didn’t have a car and couldn’t call 911. The boss was later placed on leave, and the reader assumed the role of a temporary general manager. The reader later broke off the friendship when the boss returned from leave but was planning to leave for another job soon afterward, believing that the company had betrayed them. Alison Green advises readers to seek HR help and not sacrifice one’s own mental health for the sake of others in such situations.
- A reader wrote to Ask a Manager regarding their boss who turned to them for mental and emotional support as she went through a divorce and custody battle, leading the reader to become her confidante and, eventually, the person tasked with providing her with support to stay alive after saying she was suicidal.
- The reader enabled the boss’s bad behavior and stopped doing their own job to cover for her, causing them to experience anxiety about the prospect of upsetting the boss and being fired.
- While the boss went on leave, the reader took over as temporary GM and decided to end the close friendship with the boss.
- The reader believes they had plenty of missteps and notes that the situation could have been avoided if they had reached out to HR sooner.
- In situations like these, the reader should consider reaching out to HR for help instead of sacrificing their own mental and emotional well-being.
- The reader also points out that it’s not their job to fix situations like these and that one should seek professional help to avoid falling into a similar role.
- Alison Green advises readers not to sacrifice their mental health while trying to provide support to someone who needs professional help.
- The reader’s desire to try to fix things could be examined, and it could be helpful to look at other similar instances where one took on this role.
- The situation outlined in the letter highlights issues surrounding employers that don’t look after the mental health of their workers.
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